There is a serious sex drought happening in the world. Married people with kids aren’t having sex and neither are the single people. Social media used to be the culprit, consuming everyone’s attention. Now it’s the pandemic that is holding us back. Collective energy is directing toward survival mode so cultivating amazing sexual connections with partners is harder than ever. The big problem with that is that sex – solo or partnered – is a huge piece of self-care. That 10-step skincare routine isn’t going to make your face light up like the post-orgasm glow. Like therapy and exercise does for your mind and body, there are “workouts” you can do for a better sex life.
The path to a healthy active sex life starts with balancing the energy in your body. In Ayurveda, India’s healing system, your chakras are where your energy lives. They are seven spinning energy centers, each governing a different aspect of our physical, mental, and spiritual health. The first and second chakras support your sex life.
When your first and second chakras are out of balance your path toward true intimacy is lost. Understanding these imbalances can do a lot to clear the emotional blockages that keep us from a better sex life.
To put it in real life terms, if all your energy is being spent overthinking about alllll the stuff you have going on including stress and anxiety and your head is at the top of your body that energy never gets a chance to flow down to your lower body causing a lower libido, infertility, and a lack of creative motivation. Sex is the last thing on your list. Yet, we all need pleasure more than ever after the year we had!
If you’re feeling ready for a better sex life post-pandemic, below are some actionable steps on how to redirect your energy centers and enhance your sexuality and sensuality to elevate the relationship you have with both your partner and yourself!
First Chakra – Root
Associated with the color red, your first chakra or Muladhara is your root support located at the base of the spine. Red equates to passion, love, and fire.
Like all roots in nature, your first chakra is linked to basic survival needs – food, sex, money, water – and connection to the earth as well as our deepest carnal desires.
When you think of your first chakra think about the roots of a tree and how they need them for support or they will fall over and die. We need that stability too so unblocking this area is vital for our life force. No life force, no sexual energy.
Unfortunately, as humans, we have all become un-rooted. In the modern era people are spending more time inside than ever, many times solo, with their multiple screens disconnected from the real world.
You can see how this all adds up to having an unhealthy or nonexistent sex life.
Unblocking the First Chakra
To unblock your first chakra, your human roots, you either have to get outside and ground yourself in nature, like a tree, away from a screen – walk on the beach, take a hike, walk in the backyard barefoot – or find a stable environment to live in.
It’s important to remember that our connection to home and earth is invariably linked to our connection with each other and the inner trust you feel when life is stable. It’s difficult to open yourself up to intimacy when you’re “unrooted”.
Add a boost to your grounding work with regular meditation and by using the color red in your daily life with clothing, art, or carnelian crystals.
First Chakra Feels
+Out of balance//In fear
+Balanced//’Whole person”, Safe, Worthy
Second Chakra – Sacral
Associated with the color orange, Svadhisthana, your second chakra or sacral is where your body’s sexuality and creativity center live. The two are one in the same – never forget this.
Your sacral chakra is located below your belly button where your genitals live. So, it’s no surprise that this area is linked to desire, pleasure, intimacy, and procreation.
If you think of the color Orange in branding it is used to convey joy and youth. Everything relates to everything. Put two and two together, if you want to stay young in spirit (and who doesn’t?) the orange chakra is the area you want to tap into. Cooking, painting, and dancing are all sacral activities. And, of course, sex.
Life begins in the sacral chakra but that doesn’t always mean actual babies. It can be the birthing of a creative project.
All of this sounds fun but the shadow side to the sacral chakra area is that it’s the area where our guilt lives. All the emotions you’ve been bottling up are here. They surface via lower back pain, fertility issues, incontinence, and more.
Your guilt isn’t always conscious and can come from things in your childhood that you had no control over. Now that you do, there are ways to release it and express yourself so you can live the rest of your life having a happy healthy sex life.
Unblocking the Second Chakra
Energy flows up and down a pipeline through the center of your body. If there is a clog somewhere, one of the other chakras is going to suffer.
For example, the sacral chakra, as you now know, governs creativity. The throat / 5th chakra is the energy center that allows you to express those creative ideas. Basically, if you aren’t speaking you truth from your mouth you will have a harder time doing lower body / 1st and 2nd chakra energy work.
When energy is flowing in the second chakra you will be glowing. That light is what attracts people to you. Here are some tricks to getting back in the sex groove via your sacral chakra.
Start engaging in playful activities. Free flow some dance moves. Write in a journal. Cook a meal without a recipe. This should be easy.
Get regular massages, masturbate, and get reiki energy work to release tension (guilt or shame) in the body. Self-touch using Chakrubs, a pleasure tool made from a healing crystal, will help you create an intentional practice to assist in achieving your goal of having a better sex life. This should feel fun, easy, and not a chore.
It’s been a hard year to work movement into our lives. This gentle yoga flow is not only a great kickstart it really helps you get into your hips.
It’s a 5-step sequence:
- Cat/Cow (Marjaryasana/Bitilasana)
- Bridge Pose (Setu Bandha Sarvangasana)
- Full Wheel (Urdhva Dhanurasana)
- Sphinx (Salamba Bhujangasana)
- Triangle Pose (Trikonasana).
The icing on the cake if you have some serious work to unravel is inner child work. We like To Be Magnetic’s Unblocked Inner Child workshop. You will release childhood baggage and restore your confidence. Heal the childhood wounds that block you from returning to your most vulnerable, sexual self.
Orange foods are the go-to for the sacral. Start incorporating sweet potatoes, carrots, mangos, pumpkin, and oranges into your daily diet.
Second Chakra Feels
+Out of balance//Infertility, Mood swings, Lower back pain, Urinary problems
+Balanced//Prosperity, Pleasure, Joy, Patience, Energetic
Recovering fashion blogger and Founder of NYC-based creative consultancy, Hashtag Lifestyle.